Blood Beast review

[kamapon]

Blood Beast….


I think this deserves explanation by songs….or at least half of the cast deserves XD


Grubss Grady Going Mad by Queen…..or I want to break free also by Queen…..(his wolfish partXD)
Juni Swann Devil in Disguise by Elvis.(My, Darren Shan loves FAIR haired traitorsXDD)
Bill E Spleen “Loser” by Motorhead XD
Dervish Grady I’d do anything for love (but I won’t do that) by Meat Loaf. (Though I suspect he’d prefer “I was made for loving you” by Kiss for obvious reasons).
Loch Another one bites the dusk also by Queen (this is turning so gay).

And now…… summary!

Grubss: I’m back, with new friends!
Friends: Spleenio, you sucker!
Bill-E: * sulks*
Grubss: Oh I feel so bad for him that I think I’ll pass and hang out with my new friends instead, that’s School Law.
--
Dervish: Ok. So I basically rule and leave the house to you for a whole weekend, and as I am old but cool, I’ll make you have a party, boy
Grubbs: But I don’t want to ha….
Dervish: YOU HAVE IT, YOU UNGRATEFUL LITTLE BASTARD!
Grubbs: nopes, the bastard here, technically talking is Bill-E
Bill- E: *sulks*
Dervish: right…..now I’m off, if I don’t come back is because I’m a mad on the road and drive like crazy.
Grubbss: Kiss Meera for me *grin*
Dervish: Nah, I’m gay…..and your dad was too.
Grubss: WHAT?
Dervish: Nah, just joking.*is off*

….
Grubbs: YAY! PARTEEEEEEE….ugh I feel sick….I may have…..the family’s curse…and….might be turning into……must…call……Dervish….and…w…..
Friends: Let’s play bottle!
Grubbs: ah..allright!
…
Bill E: I might be a sucker, but I get to kiss your girlfriend before you do……
Grubbs: …..damn….
Reni: …let’s kiss Grubbs!
Grubbs: *smooch* ….oh damn the magic I tried to keep from everybody to see and I didn’t want Dervish or BillE to know about …is making the bottle raise and spin…..
Friends: oh that’s cool!*sparkle*
BillE: Good your friends are too stupid to understand…..*catches butterfly*
….
Grubbs: Uuuh moon is making me sick again……I should call dervish as I found myself covered in sweat and howling to the moon,….but I think I’ll go back to bed instead…* snore*
….
Loch: Hey, I’m boooored
Grubbs: I’ve got a damn Hangover
BillE: I’m off before you tell Loch I’m outside trying to find a treasure that makes me a sucker as it’s something only little children would do *grunts*
Loch: I’m coming too, sounds fun
BillE: *sulks*
…

All: Oh, we found a cave, how interesting, let’s go back to bed.

….

Grubbs: Damn! My mind went blank and when I wake up I’m in the hole we left in the evening, only that I made it deeper!..... I’m…..changiiing….I should…..warn….Dervish….I….*howls*
Dervish: I’m off to bed! Tell me tomorrow!

….
Loch: Yay, you’re a pair of girls, and I keep teasing you so you do all the work for me.
Bill E: ARG! I’m falling
Grubbs: *grabs* nah, you’re not, we found a cave….looks kinda scary
Bec: Oooooh I’m warning youuuuu…..Only that you can’t understand me.
Grubbs: Look, that stalactite is talking to me, and it’s got a girly face in it….let’s go back..
Loch: …..nah you chicken. OH! Here, we could climb that rocks beside the waterfall that looks wet and dangerous….*falls and dies*
Grubbs: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Oh look, the blood is gone.
Dervish: YOU FOOOOOOLSSSSSSSS! Let’s move the corpse and pretend it didn’t happen. Don’t tell anyone, right? PROMISE!*growls*
Boys: ^^u we promise?
Dervish: that’s better……
…

Grubbs: …..look, uncle, I’m turning because of the family curse and I thought I’d have to tell you.
Dervish: Excuse me? I was phoning the Lambs so I couldn’t hear you.
Grubbs: ¬¬u
….

Grubbs: EE!Is good to be back to school!
Friends: YAY! Loch is dead, let’s make jokes about it!
Grubbs: great idea.

….

random teacher: The counsellor wants you in her office, Grady.
Grubbs: yay?
…
Grubbs: well, hello, you wanted to se….JUNI!
Juni: *hugs* Hi pretty! Don’t tell your uncle I’m back, oh and by the way, I’m also seeing BillE….jealous?
Grubbs: ….you cheating bitch…..I mean, I’m not jealous!
…

Grubbs: I’m bac…..oh the door…*opens*
Juni: HI! I know I told you not to tell, but I turned left instead of right and I ended up here….(literal quote from the book)….is your uncle in?
Dervish: JUNI? *jaw drops*
Juni: Hi love, let’s fuck.

….
Dervish:…Juni…<3
Juni: ….Dervish <3
Grubbs: vomit….<3

….
Juni: Grubbs, your uncle is going to ask me if I want to move in…
Dervish: Juni, want to move in?
Juni: see? Yeah sure! You don’t mind, do you Grubbs? Cool,thaaaanks*leaves*
Dervish: <3
Grubbs: …..I’m so jealous…..
Juni: Oh, but I don’t want to steal Dervish’s love from you (quote from the book).
Grubbs:……….oh I’m so jealous….¬¬
…

Dervish: Oh Grubbs, great you’re back, I’ve told Juni EVERYTHING about magic, the Lambs, the family curse and the color of your underpants.
Grubbs: HOW COULD YOU!?
Dervish: she swallows
Grubbs: ah,. Great, I don’t mind then.

….
Juni: Yay! Magic, wanna practice…magic….my precious,…..!*looks creepy*
Grubbs: EEEEK!*runs*

…
Tramp: Hey boy, I’m a pedo and….
Grubbs: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! *runs*
….

Grubbs: Juni!!! Oh Juni, I thought you looked creepy and ugly and ike a demon and then that tramp…oh I’m so scared…..
Juni *smiles* oooh you look right as the child I lost many time ago…*wipes*
Grubbs: ah?
Juni: let’s play doctor…..I mean, mum and son….I moved in because I wanted to be your mum <3*wink* Thrust m….I mean, Trust me, Grubbs, but don’t trust Dervish, because even if he’s been with you for years, protected you form Bill E, feeds you, cares for you, loves you and all that stuff, don’t be fooled, ……you…can…only….trust…me….*creepy voice*
Grubbs: oh, ok.

….
Dervish: Damn! I thought you were going nuts, but it’s true that you’re changing!
Grubbs: ……great, Sherlock. Get me in the cage…
dervish: Uuh….playful tonight?
Grubbs: …..¬¬ for me when I turn, you know, into a werewolf.
Juni: that word doesn’t exist….
Grubbs: …….she was bad at language.
Dervish: But she’s good using her tongue <3.

….
Grubbs: WARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRG *fights+
Juni: Dervish, go and call for help! Leave us alone so I can have my way with….I mean, use magic on him and help!
Dervish: ok! *is off*
Grubbs: uh…I suddenly came to my senses…..Juni?
Juni: let’s play, you naughty boy. *kisses*
Grubbs: oh….hey, I’m liking this *kisses back*
Juni: *uses tongue*…..oh! I forgot, we’re getting out of here because ooooh, you uncle called the Lambs! Run, Grubbs, RRRRRRUUUUUUN….
Grubbs: *kills several people* Oh I hope they’re not dead! Where the hell is Juni?
Bec: Ooooooooooh youuuu booooyyyy listen to meeeeeee
Grubbs: Listen Girl, remove the marbles from your mouth before speaking……..ah, now I get it , you’re talking in another language.
Bec: *facepalm*

…

Grubbs: Where am I? I just dozed and….EEEK!
Ma and Pa Spleen: *ded, ha! You weren’t expecting that!*
Juni: ah……you’re here….we’re late for the flight.
Grubbs: What flight?
Juni: Didn’t I tell you? We’re leaving, alone, forget about your previous life and everything, I’ll tie you to bed every night so you don’t transform and we’ll be a happy happy family <3
Grubbs: Tie me?
Juni: rawwwwwr <3
Grubbs: okay then….
…

Juni: these are not the droids you’re looking for *waves hand*
Girl at check in: Here, your tickets*smiles* have a nice safe flight

….
Grubbs: We’re safe here now, yes, we’re we must be, demons can’t reach us up here, can they, Juni…..?Hey! Where are you? *turbulences* oh, ahahahaha turbulences, how funny!
Lord Loss: lol!
Grubbs: oh, shit!
people:* ded*
demons: lol!
Lord Loss: oh, lol…Dervish Grady….lol….what a coincidence…lol….are you on holidays too?
Juni: *waves*
Grubbs: JUNI, no!
Juni: oh don’t worry….you see, I called him, lol!
Grubbs: you said lol! You’re on his side!
Juni & Lord Loss: LOL!
Grubbs: I knew it!!! Every fair headed character in Darren Shan books are traitors, and you’re an albino!
Juni. Lol! Eat him master *liks face* rewwwwr <3
Grubbs: you cheating bitch!



**END**

Still, one of the best books (but only because I love Dervish! Inny, don't you think Derv is like house without a cane and a ponytail?

Comments

[mint-green.livejournal.com]

XD Lovely summary.

By the way: JUNI = NADIA. Totally. And erm... Grubbs is an idiot.

I love how they just left Billy lying next to his dead grandparents.

<3 I love Dervish. So so much. And I think the creepy pedo was Beranabus.

Juni being a slut is so, so creepy. And again. Grubbs is an idiot. Though lovey Dervish is kind of amusing, in a creepy way.

I loved Bec. "Look, you twat, get out of the creepy magic cave. You would think my face coming out of the fucking stone should be enough, but nooo. Go away. Tell your uncle. Srsly."
Grubbs: WHAT WAS THAT? Eh?

[kamapon.livejournal.com]

FINALLY YOU READ ITXDDDDDD


XDDD OI wanted to summarize this this wayXDD really, the book was asking for it so much